Hi, my name is Lisa and it’s been 17 days since I posted the first TTAM post. I’m not sure that bodes well for my patience. Obviously, this proves I am too easily annoyed. I blame it on pre-pre-menopause.
So here’s the list:
Ten Things That Annoy Me since March 8 in no particular order of annoyance:
1. Trains. This train above in particular. On the one hand it’s all cool and nostalgic to see and hear a train running through your very own tiny rural town. On the other hand, it’s a pain in the keister when you are in a hurry. Those trains are long. And slow. And annoying.
2. Smoking. By anyone, anywhere, ever. Yeah, yeah it’s your right to kill yourself slowly and painfully but don’t take me with you. Also, it gives me a banging headache.
3. Returns. I hate having to return anything to any store. Even when I have the receipt and I know some uppity store clerk is not going to hassle me. I especially hate returning things that didn’t work directly out of the package. Like the digital thermometer I bought at Wally World that has ONE button on it to push to turn the thing on. Did it work? No. It did not. Back to Customer Service I had to go.
4. Rude Car Drivers. Especially those who do not acknowledge my supremely magnanimous generosity when I let them into traffic in front of me even though they’ve been a douche and have not been paying attention to the obvious signs and traffic directions.
5. Companies I Have To Deal With. Mostly those who will not let ME access our accounts because the don’t have BOTH of our names on them. Whatever. If they want my money, they’d best let me take care of things because Bryon has no idea what the passwords are or where to even find the websites. If I fall off the planet tomorrow, they are so screwed.
6. One Square. That Seinfeld episode was so great. The one where Elaine asked the lady in the stall beside her if she could spare a square when she realized her toilet paper dispenser was out of paper. Honestly, one square is not nearly enough, but when there are no squares…one is wonderful. If you use the last square, tell someone who can take care of it. Because if I don’t have a square, someone will receive my wrath.
7. Pay At The Pump Receipts That Don’t Print. Frankly, if I do not want to schlep the fifteen steps into your store for a receipt. Refill the dang printer paper on the pump. Don’t ask if I want a freakin’ receipt if you aren’t prepared to deliver it.
8. The Chairs At Barnes & Noble. I have a love/hate relationship with Barnes & Noble as it is. I feel like they basically crushed my true love, Borders, and ran them to bankruptcy. B&N is the only substantial bookstore/coffee shop in town so if I want to peruse new books with a cafe mocha in my hand, that’s the place I have to go. They are not loiter friendly. The chairs are purposefully uncomfortable and few. If you aren’t lucky enough to sit with the A Listers in the cafe, you’re relegated to sitting with your back to the Glenstone Street window and facing a row of puzzle boxes. There isn’t even anything to put your feet up on. AND they took the only two soft chairs out and replaced them with Sunday church pew-hard arm chairs.
I suppose we should be happy they have arms to balance our cafe mochas on. Honestly those soft chairs weren’t the prize I thought they’d be anyway. One day I finally scored one. I immediately sank to the bottom of it and landed on a hard board and the chair smelled funky. NOT a good funky. A few times I’ve had to cruise the cafe and the row of Glenstone misfits like a vulture until someone finally bugs out. Friday I finally scored a Glenstone chair only to notice the not so subtle hint of dead mouse wafting from the wall behind me. Foiled again.
9. My Dog. Almost constantly.
10. Unreliable Bloggers. Especially those who wait 10 days between posts. Who can trust them?