>But Wait, There’s More.

If ever there was a personality profile for prospective infomercial targets, Grace would fit it. Every time she spends ANY amount of time watching television, she is enraptured with the virtues of all the “miracle” products available for sale on television.

I wish I could remember ALL the products she’s parroted the virtues of to me and told me that we should try. What I do remember is KaBoom! She saw them clean that disgusting shower tile with one spray and swipe of the cloth which left it sparklingly white and said “Mama, that is AMAZING, you HAVE to try that!” ” Look, you just spray it on and then wipe it off and it’s sparkly”. Uh, yeah, I have tried that actually and it was significantly less than sparkly and in fact pretty toxic smelling. But still.

Then between her birthday and Christmas there were the BENDAROOS. “Look Mama, you can make ANYTHING out of them. You just twist them and stick them together and you make things”. Uh, yeah. I saw the Bendaroos at Walgreens and got her some for Christmas. They were $20. I should have ordered them from the television because THEN I would have gotten the “But Wait, There’s More” 2 for one special.

Then there was Moon Sand. “Moon Sand,” she told me, “is AMAZING, because it doesn’t DRY OUT, EVER. You can leave it out and play with it and it doesn’t dry OUT”

We got her some Moon Sand for Christmas too. It was pretty amazing. Also EXTREMELY MESSY and got EVERYWHERE, just as sand is apt to do. She has played with it once. I don’t remind her about it because I don’t want to clean it up. It is mercifully buried in her closet under a host of games, puzzles and sports equipment.

About 10 minutes ago, she came running down the stairs after watching “The Shaggy Dog” on some kids channel upstairs to tell me about an “AMAZING tooth paste holder”. “You know,” she says “how you roll the toothpaste up and it’s IMPOSSIBLE?” “Well this thing, you just put the toothpaste in it and push the button and BOOP, there is the toothpaste, morning and night. It’s AMAZING and I think it’s only like a buck”.

Please God, let her never learn of QVC and the power of the credit card.


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