So yeah, back on Weight Watchers again. Really, if I were just smart, which obviously I am sometimes NOT, I would just stay on it. My problem is I like completing a project too much, marking off the list and moving on to the next thing. When your project is your health or your weight, really that is an ongoing project that should never end until your LIFE ends. This is what I know in my brain. My sweet tooth, my salty tooth and my savory tooth often think otherwise.
As soon as I lose weight and reach my “goal”. Things are good for a while, maybe even for a year. Then slowly or sometimes not so slowly the weight comes back and maybe this next time, just a little more for good measure. It’s a slippery slope.
I always justify in my mind the excuses or as I like to think of them, reasons, that it’s okay for this to happen. I DESERVE to eat what I want. Life is short. I have stress and chocolate, dessert, whatever makes that feel better.
What I KNOW but often fail to remember is that I DESERVE to feel fit and strong and healthy, not full and fat and out of shape. Yes, round is a shape, but it’s not pretty.
When I was 30 I was in the best shape of my life. Still not stellar but I did 2 duathalons (I was last on both but got a first place trophy in my age category anyway in the other even though I was dead last AND had a flat tire), walked several 5k’s, RAN a 10k (it was painful), competed with three friends in an Adventure Race (we were second to the last), walked the roads and hills around our Highlandville house and hiked and backpacked the area trails A LOT.
Then we bought the farm, built a house, had a baby and things got busy and complicated and I sort of just gave up.
I’ll be 42 in May. I need to be strong for this second half plus of my life. I DESERVE it.
So, back to WW and once again trying to make it all work and stick this time. I started at 170 last Monday. I’d like to be and stay at 140-145. Really when that first five pounds starts to go back on, we should be screaming and fighting like mad to beat it back into submission. Now if my cocky brain can just remember that this time and for every day after when I reach my goal.
This first week was hard because I ate out three times BUT I ate salads all three times. I used to say if I only liked salad I would be really skinny. Well, that may or may not be true now that I see all the OPTIONS you can ADD to your salad, ha! But at least it’s filling, and now for the first time in my life, actually tasty and edible to me. I just ate a salad for lunch. And an apple. Really that was it. Getting used to not feeling like a stuffed toad is new, but I haven’t been too famished yet, except for yesterday. I think the MORE I eat, the hungrier I am sometimes. I don’t know but I guess I’ll see if that logic pans out.
All and all, I did so so this week. I was pretty good until YESTERDAY. Dawn and I went to lunch an what I thought was a pretty healthy and low point choice from Panera was 17 points when I got home and added it up. Holy moly! Guess I should have paid more attention to the “creamy” part of the tomato soup! I was stressing out because Bryon made up a big pot of deer stew last night which is WONDERFUL and I made homemade cornbread and I entered both meals into the recipe builder on the WW website to determine the points and turns out the soup is about 6 points per serving and the cornbread was 3. BUT, when I entered in the cornbread something went wrong and it added all 36 points to my day’s tally which I didn’t figure out until a few minutes ago. I was stroking. I thought I’d eaten 72 points yesterday. Seriously. Eeek. Not that I’m incapable of accomplishing that.
I went upstairs to exercise (which I hadn’t done all week) so I could count my activity points and repair some of the damage from yesterday’s eating fiasco. Then when I came downstairs to enter it in I realized the cornbread error. Boy was I relieved! Turns out I’m now actually .5 points ahead! If I exercise tomorrow too, I’m golden for the week. Of course I have already used ALL my “free points” this week, but that’s okay because being even is MUCH better than being 35+ points behind!
I weigh in on Monday, but today’s sneak peek was 167.6. So I’m at least heading back in the right direction.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
Unless there are three other people.
Orson Welles (1915 – 1985)