>A Man and His Ass


Bryon volunteered to walk the donkey behind the church float for the Marshfield Christmas Parade last Saturday. One of the church member’s daughters (Katie) who is 14 was dressed up as Mary and was riding along. Darrell (the donkey’s owner) said if Alvie (the donkey) made it through the entire parade it would be the longest hike he’d ever been on (he’s 12). Skeptical but game, Bryon loaded up on range cubes (donkey snacks) and they headed out. Grace rode on the float which consisted of a rocking chair with one of the church mom’s in it reading the Christmas story to some kids by the fireplace and the most pathetic Charlie Brown Christmas tree you’ve ever seen. For some reason we had three wisemen walking alongside too handing out flyers for the Live Nativity our church is doing over the next three nights for promotion. It was quite the spectacle. Grace rode on the float, wrapped up, cold and somber the whole time. I rode in the cab of the truck.
I kept hoping for my $10,000 video opportunity but missed it because right as we rounded the square in front of the parade judges, a bunch of motorcycle riders revved up their bikes and that was all she wrote for Alvie. Alvie bucked, kicked Katie off over the top of his head and generally seized up. Bryon had two range cubes left and tried to help Katie up and Alvie off the street but Alvie wasn’t having anymore to do with the parade. Finally Bryon told Katie to grab some peppermint sticks that were littering the street and enticed Alvie to the courthouse lawn until Darrell could arrive and retrieve his errant donkey.
All’s well that ends well. I’m just glad I wasn’t Mary.
Tomorrow night Grace and I will be Angels in the Live Nativity.
I don’t know why we sign up for this stuff.

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